I’m working my way through the poet David Whyte’s Consolations, a dictionary of solace, nourishment and meaning and this morning, I made it to rest.
The book consists of short essays on words like ‘alone’ and ‘destiny’ and ‘longing’ and, why not, ‘Istanbul’? I often have to read through each essay twice, trying to absorb the fullness of what he’s saying. It’s the sort of book I’ll be reading for years, new wisdom always available.
On rest, Whyte says, “Rest is a conversation between what we love to do and how we love to be.” Isn’t that lovely already? Rest is about giving and receiving. Not a state of perfect stillness, but achieving an inner state of natural exchange.
Our natural guide to rest is breathing. Think about it. We aren’t perfectly still when we breath. Everything doesn’t come to a screeching halt. We are still in motion. Our lungs expand and contract. Our diaphragm rises and falls. Our heart beats, if perhaps a bit more slowly. A bit more in tune with our human rhythm, rather than something set by clocks or computers or machines.
We are rested, Whyte says, when we let things alone and let ourselves alone, allowing our body to do what it does so well on its own. Allowing the world to do what it will do. Receiving what it offers to us, giving what we have.
One thing I know for sure—cats are masters of rest.
There are five stages of rest according to Whyte. First, the sense of stopping, giving up on what we have been doing or how we have been being. The second stage, the sense of coming home to our bodies, our “uncoerced and unbullied self.” Third, a sense of healing and self-forgiveness. Arrival. The fourth, deep in the primal breath, the feeling of give and take, “the blessing and being blessed and being able to delight in both.” Finally, a sense of absolute readiness and presence. The sense of being the place where the inner and the outer world meet.
In this way of thinking of rest, you can rest while you’re preparing a meal. While you’re having a conversation. While you’re on a walk. You can rest in the middle of complete chaos, because the rest is inside you. In this sense, rest is always available to you, in the refuge of your body and your breath.
I want to believe that this is what rest is. That this is what it looks like. It feels right to me. Napping can still be rest, too, but there is a restfulness that comes after a long walk. There is a rest I feel sometimes in writing.
Of course, the world works hard at trying to deprive us of rest. We’re yanked away from being in our bodies over and over again. We’re told to work at paces that violate our gentle human rhythms. Last night as I tried to fall asleep, all I could think about was whether we’d have our mortgage paid off on schedule. I had to work hard to keep myself from getting out of bed to go check. There is nothing restful about that.
“Rest is a conversation between what we love to do and how we love to be.” It sounds right, doesn’t it? What do you think? What does rest mean to you?
I think that's how I rest, while functioning with other things, but many don't see that as rest and tell me to go rest in the truest of nap settings. I do know that without 8 hours of sleep regularly, I cannot overcome the days, but I like to think I take moments to rest throughout the day. And now maybe I will need to rest and read a new book :)
Reading a book is one of the most restful things I do, definitely! I love napping, too, but I know a lot of people just aren't big nappers or they just don't have the time in their day-to-day life for it. Thanks for commenting!
This is beautiful. I am definitely going to need to check out this book. Rest for me is anything that I can lose myself in: a good conversation, reading, writing, painting, or taking a walk in nature.
Consolations is a lovely book. Highly recommend. Yes, I think it's similar to the idea that anything you do mindfully and with your full attention becomes meditation. Anything you can lose yourself in becomes rest. Thanks for commenting!
I love thinking about rest in new ways. I admit I have a massive dislike of David Whyte and I have trouble taking in anything he says. It’s unfair probably, but he publicly lied about a friend of mine having “stolen” his work for years (still does it on social media) mostly because she had success and wouldn’t sleep with him. It’s funny how I can get hung up on something like that and never let it rest.
I think that's how I rest, while functioning with other things, but many don't see that as rest and tell me to go rest in the truest of nap settings. I do know that without 8 hours of sleep regularly, I cannot overcome the days, but I like to think I take moments to rest throughout the day. And now maybe I will need to rest and read a new book :)
Reading a book is one of the most restful things I do, definitely! I love napping, too, but I know a lot of people just aren't big nappers or they just don't have the time in their day-to-day life for it. Thanks for commenting!
This is beautiful. I am definitely going to need to check out this book. Rest for me is anything that I can lose myself in: a good conversation, reading, writing, painting, or taking a walk in nature.
Consolations is a lovely book. Highly recommend. Yes, I think it's similar to the idea that anything you do mindfully and with your full attention becomes meditation. Anything you can lose yourself in becomes rest. Thanks for commenting!
Sounds like a must read. Maybe rest is so elusive because so few of us really know what we love to do or how we love to be.
Oh, Sandy, I think you're so right. Those are two things it can be hard to figure out.
I love thinking about rest in new ways. I admit I have a massive dislike of David Whyte and I have trouble taking in anything he says. It’s unfair probably, but he publicly lied about a friend of mine having “stolen” his work for years (still does it on social media) mostly because she had success and wouldn’t sleep with him. It’s funny how I can get hung up on something like that and never let it rest.
That's sort of understandable to get hung up on something like that. It's pretty upsetting to hear.