Thinking about weed whackers

Generalized reciprocity is more like karma. My generosity will come back to me somehow, in some unforeseen and unanticipated way.

Read through to the end for details about how to help me launch the paperback edition of She/He/They/Me: An Interactive Guide to the Gender Binary and the perks you can get—like early access to the book!

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Friends, last night I may or may not have rode around on a golf cart and picked up a weed whacker somewhere along the way.

On Saturday, I saw amazing music in rooms with friends and neighbors at Madhop. This was the second inaugural Madhop after many aborted attempts during the long years (yeah, multiple years) of Covid. There were times when I didn’t think music festivals would ever happen again, but this weekend, it did and it was beautiful.

The Harmaleighs, my new favorite band, performing at MadHop

Also this weekend, a friend gave us dirt to fill up the new raised beds we built in the backyard as well as permission to use the “communal truck.”

So, it was another weekend in Madison.

Sometimes I feel like I say the same thing over and over in this newsletter. I’m a broken record and it boils down to this—living in a good place is half the battle toward having a good life.

It’s more than that, though. Plenty of people can be miserable even in a good place. You have to take that first step toward community. Some days you’re on the receiving end of the weed whacker. Some days you’re giving the weed whacker away. But if you stay locked up in your garage, hoarding all your power tools, it won’t really matter where you live.

Generalized reciprocity is the anthropological term for it. It’s more than quid pro quo. It’s not the sense that if I give you a weed whacker, you specifically owe me and you owe me something weed-whacker equivalent. Generalized reciprocity isn’t accounting or storing up favors to cash in later.

It’s more like karma. My generosity will come back to me somehow, in some unforeseen and unanticipated way. But it will come back and then I’ll spread it out again. It is generosity toward a whole community rather than an individual. It is a belief that when it comes down to it, we will all take care of each other.

I can’t help going on and on about this, because it’s just so beautiful. And important. And precious and rare.

I’m not from Madison. I didn’t grow up here. I am an interloper. A newcomer. But I can’t tell you how often I’m thankful to this community for letting me in, even if it’s in the tiniest way. I’m so grateful to be part of this generosity that makes life a little easier.

That’s it. Nothing I haven’t said before. Nothing I won’t say again. Simple, but also sort of radical, because how much better would the world be if we all felt that way toward the people in our communities?

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Thanks as always for reading and being a part of this newsletter community! And speaking of generosity, I need your help. The paperback edition of She/He/They/Me will be published in late June of this year, which seems like a long way away, but a lot of important things happen well before a book is published. Pre-orders and buzz matter a lot, which is where you all come in.

A launch team is a group of people who agree to help get that buzz going. It’s not complicated and doesn’t involve a big time commitment. You don’t have to be a social media expert. You don’t even have to be on social media if you prefer to spread the word the old-fashioned way by, you know, talking to people. I’ll tell you exactly what to do and when. And you get perks, like early access to the book, stickers, bookmarks and the chance to win a signed copy.

So here are the first steps. If you’re on Facebook, go join the Facebook group, here. Then fill out this very quick and simple Google form, here. If you’re not on Facebook, just fill out the Google form. Then stay tuned! And thanks in advance!