Thank you, Robin for your thoughtful answer to my question. At eighty, I'm happy, busy, doing what I love. Finances are always an issue, but I don't worry about it. I just go about my life, living within my budget, and giving gifts that don't involve my spending more than I can afford (love, handmade items, time, help, contributing to my Buy Nothing group). I write, read, garden, sew, bake, spend time with family and friends.
Thank you for affirming the hot-ness of Erving Goffman.
Cool technology could be interesting. I have to say, I’m sort of disappointed in what we have so far. Sure, smartphones are awesome, but also feels like they make us miserable. Surely we can do better than that?
Good to read the words of a fellow optimist full of common sense. I very much believe in good days’ and at 80, and a follower of Sandra’s I see her as someone I have an affinity to. I am lucky insomuch as it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Me here at 80 is not a predication I would have made. 🐰
Fun fact: novelist Anne Tyler once read Goffman's "The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life" and calls it one of the most impactful books she ever read that helped her write people. Because I am a rabid fan of Tyler's and a novelist, I found a copy and read it. I still have it and although I understand why she found it so useful for her writing, I have failed to capture in my own the divergence between how humans behave in groups and how they (might) behave entirely on their own.
Here's my question: what do you think might happen if more people did not modify their behavior in groups and just behaved as though they were unconstrained by social expectations? Is it even possible to behave, unconstrained by social expectations or are these behaviors the way we keep society functioning?
I did not know that about Anne Tyler but it’s so interesting. I can see how that book would be useful for a writer. I have a great time with my students unpacking exactly the kind of questions you asked.
Here’s a short answer to your question—I think that if people did not modify their behaviors for group expectations, it would be a lot more annoying that you might think. One of Goffman’s points is that in modern society, following what he calls the interaction order—the rules for how to behave in social settings—becomes a way to show respect for each other as individuals. When people violate these tiny rules of interaction, it becomes a moral issue. We are affronted when we greet someone we know and they don’t respond. We are, you know, a little outraged. And when we fail to follow the rules (we trip in public or greet someone we don’t know by accident) we feel embarrassment and shame. Those are feelings about morality.
In other words, there’s a lot more at stake in following all the social niceties than we think there is. Obviously, I could go on and on, so maybe this is another post. I love Goffman!
Thank you, Robin for your thoughtful answer to my question. At eighty, I'm happy, busy, doing what I love. Finances are always an issue, but I don't worry about it. I just go about my life, living within my budget, and giving gifts that don't involve my spending more than I can afford (love, handmade items, time, help, contributing to my Buy Nothing group). I write, read, garden, sew, bake, spend time with family and friends.
Those all sound like very good days, Sandra! Thanks again for your question.
Most people do ask before taking a seemingly spare chair, even when a friend and I are both sitting there in our wheelchairs.
Erving Goffman—at least in that picture—was kinda hot.
I want to hang in as long as possible to see what kind of cool technology develops—I am about to be 67, so kind of in middle of you two.
I was shocked at that woman. Like who raised her?
Thank you for affirming the hot-ness of Erving Goffman.
Cool technology could be interesting. I have to say, I’m sort of disappointed in what we have so far. Sure, smartphones are awesome, but also feels like they make us miserable. Surely we can do better than that?
I want a robot!
Oh, a robot who does the dishes would be super nice, I have to admit.
I can think of a long list of tasks for a robot! Maybe that is a post. Hmm.
Good to read the words of a fellow optimist full of common sense. I very much believe in good days’ and at 80, and a follower of Sandra’s I see her as someone I have an affinity to. I am lucky insomuch as it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Me here at 80 is not a predication I would have made. 🐰
Here's to all the good days, Kevin, and thanks for reading!
Fun fact: novelist Anne Tyler once read Goffman's "The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life" and calls it one of the most impactful books she ever read that helped her write people. Because I am a rabid fan of Tyler's and a novelist, I found a copy and read it. I still have it and although I understand why she found it so useful for her writing, I have failed to capture in my own the divergence between how humans behave in groups and how they (might) behave entirely on their own.
Here's my question: what do you think might happen if more people did not modify their behavior in groups and just behaved as though they were unconstrained by social expectations? Is it even possible to behave, unconstrained by social expectations or are these behaviors the way we keep society functioning?
I did not know that about Anne Tyler but it’s so interesting. I can see how that book would be useful for a writer. I have a great time with my students unpacking exactly the kind of questions you asked.
Here’s a short answer to your question—I think that if people did not modify their behaviors for group expectations, it would be a lot more annoying that you might think. One of Goffman’s points is that in modern society, following what he calls the interaction order—the rules for how to behave in social settings—becomes a way to show respect for each other as individuals. When people violate these tiny rules of interaction, it becomes a moral issue. We are affronted when we greet someone we know and they don’t respond. We are, you know, a little outraged. And when we fail to follow the rules (we trip in public or greet someone we don’t know by accident) we feel embarrassment and shame. Those are feelings about morality.
In other words, there’s a lot more at stake in following all the social niceties than we think there is. Obviously, I could go on and on, so maybe this is another post. I love Goffman!