Oct 30, 2023·edited Oct 30, 2023Liked by Robyn Ryle
I'm very interested in how your next four years go. A week or so ago @Anne Helen Peterson wrote about "the portal" or the period of transition that takes us from one stage of life to another. It's a rich, creative period for those who are paying attention and growing.
I’m feeling this right now. As a home health nurse. What’s my next step? It’s so disappointing out there. Insurance. The company I work for. The doctors. The hospitals. Other nurses. It feels like there’s a lot of apathy out there. I am trying to make a difference. Do I go back to school? Get a Masters in Public Health? I’m taking a few weeks off to rest and recover and relax and wait and see if the patient I’ve been taking care of for the last 2 years comes home from the hospital this week-he’s been there for over a month. He’s dying. I want to be there until the end of his little life. And then I will have to see where I go next. Waiting on an answer 🙏🏻❤️🩹
Oh, I can imagine how frustrating it must be to be working inside the traditional medical system right now. To be wanting so much to help and heal people while working in a system that feels like it's fighting you at every step. It makes you wonder what happens as we make every job so miserable that no one wants to do them. I know there's already nursing shortage. What's next?
I admire you for sticking it out for your patient. The one thing that makes me saddest about leaving academia is definitely leaving my students behind. It's those relationships that make it bearable, isn't it?
I would be interested, although my own transition out of nearly 40 years of teaching had not been at all planned. Family matters had me semi-retiring in my late 50s, then retiring completely a few years later when being an independent author actually made more money than the part-time teaching. But looking back I can see that taking the ending in stages as I built what would be a new career, did make the change much easier. I had thought that I would miss the class room, the students (never the grading!) or the colleagues, but it turned out, I the new career and community that I had found more than compensated for the losses. And, if marketing sometimes feels like grading (just part of the job) I have got to tell you, it really isn't nearly as bad as grading 200 some freshmen essays (yes that is what my class load was as a community college professor was)! So have fun with the transition and writing about it!
I can see how grading and marketing might be similar. Or at least both sound unpleasant. I've just spent the whole rest of the morning catching up on grading, though not 200 freshman essays! Yikes!
My husband took a retirement buyout (I wasn't eligible) which has allowed him to slowly ramp down, teaching half-time for two years. We'll see how it goes for me, but it does seem like a nice way to do it.
Ooh how exciting. My own version of this 'looking forward' is how it will be to not live in the/run the temple - current plan 6 - 8 years ish partly depending on Kaspa! I think it's good to have a new phase to look forward to - reminds us of impermanence and enjoying here while we can. PS I for one would very much like to read those essays ☺️
I have to admit, it gives me such a bounce to think that there's an expiration date on this particular job and way of living. It makes all the very stupidest parts of academia bearable. I sometimes feel like a wimp for being exhausted by my job at such a young age (my husband and friends have taught for over 30 years compared to my 20), but then I remind myself we're all on our own timeline and it's good to know when to move on.
I think we all get tired out by different things... and I've also noticed myself changing over time - not in 'good' or 'bad' ways, just ways! Here's to you enjoying as much of your 4 years left as you can! (and me too!)
I’d be interested in your essays having left higher education a couple of years ago and gone through that identity transition, glad I left but know in some ways it would have been easier to have kept that institutional identity. It has been hard on the other side and I have little in common now with those who remain there. Also interested in that idea of publishing angst! I really enjoy writing but almost have a panic attack when I publish it...
Yes, I think that's a big part of what I'm interested in. I've been a college professor or a graduate student for a long time now. I don't think of it as a big part of my identity, but of course, it is. And I've already built an alternative identity as a writer. But what will it feel like to let go of a part of myself?
Yes, I spent some time this morning fretting over whether this post was something I should actually put out into the world. But (so far) I've never regretted putting my writing out into the world, in any way, shape or form. I try to remind myself of that when the panic comes.
“I have no idea if anyone would be interested in reading such a thing. I find I don’t really care. This feels like progress.” It is progress! Go, you ❤️ Personally, I think the first person you should write for is you, otherwise, what’s the point? That said, I’d be interested in reading your college essays. Many years ago I toyed with teaching, preferably at a college or community college. It wasn’t meant to be but I still spent a lot of time in academia.
Thanks, Marie. It appears quite a few people would be interested, so, charging full speed ahead! Academia is a weird world, but maybe more relatable than I thought. We've all been in situations we wanted to escape, I guess.
I'm in a similar liminal place right now. I've decided to go on disability beginning in Jan, which feels like I'm retiring. I'm 2 years shy of 15 years at BSU, which would lock in my retirement benefits. Normally, I'd just push through and get r done, but my pushing through days seem to be over. Long Covid is really kicking my ass. I will definitely read what you have to say!
That sucks, Cathy. To be so close and still not be able to get there. And to give up a job that I know has been rewarding and fulfilling not because you're choosing to, but because you have to. So sorry.
Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, Melonie! Always so lovely to hear.
I'm very interested in how your next four years go. A week or so ago @Anne Helen Peterson wrote about "the portal" or the period of transition that takes us from one stage of life to another. It's a rich, creative period for those who are paying attention and growing.
Thanks so much, Betsy. It must be in the air. Fall does feel like a very portal-y type of season.
I’m feeling this right now. As a home health nurse. What’s my next step? It’s so disappointing out there. Insurance. The company I work for. The doctors. The hospitals. Other nurses. It feels like there’s a lot of apathy out there. I am trying to make a difference. Do I go back to school? Get a Masters in Public Health? I’m taking a few weeks off to rest and recover and relax and wait and see if the patient I’ve been taking care of for the last 2 years comes home from the hospital this week-he’s been there for over a month. He’s dying. I want to be there until the end of his little life. And then I will have to see where I go next. Waiting on an answer 🙏🏻❤️🩹
Oh, I can imagine how frustrating it must be to be working inside the traditional medical system right now. To be wanting so much to help and heal people while working in a system that feels like it's fighting you at every step. It makes you wonder what happens as we make every job so miserable that no one wants to do them. I know there's already nursing shortage. What's next?
I admire you for sticking it out for your patient. The one thing that makes me saddest about leaving academia is definitely leaving my students behind. It's those relationships that make it bearable, isn't it?
Yes 😔
I would be interested, although my own transition out of nearly 40 years of teaching had not been at all planned. Family matters had me semi-retiring in my late 50s, then retiring completely a few years later when being an independent author actually made more money than the part-time teaching. But looking back I can see that taking the ending in stages as I built what would be a new career, did make the change much easier. I had thought that I would miss the class room, the students (never the grading!) or the colleagues, but it turned out, I the new career and community that I had found more than compensated for the losses. And, if marketing sometimes feels like grading (just part of the job) I have got to tell you, it really isn't nearly as bad as grading 200 some freshmen essays (yes that is what my class load was as a community college professor was)! So have fun with the transition and writing about it!
I can see how grading and marketing might be similar. Or at least both sound unpleasant. I've just spent the whole rest of the morning catching up on grading, though not 200 freshman essays! Yikes!
My husband took a retirement buyout (I wasn't eligible) which has allowed him to slowly ramp down, teaching half-time for two years. We'll see how it goes for me, but it does seem like a nice way to do it.
Ooh how exciting. My own version of this 'looking forward' is how it will be to not live in the/run the temple - current plan 6 - 8 years ish partly depending on Kaspa! I think it's good to have a new phase to look forward to - reminds us of impermanence and enjoying here while we can. PS I for one would very much like to read those essays ☺️
I have to admit, it gives me such a bounce to think that there's an expiration date on this particular job and way of living. It makes all the very stupidest parts of academia bearable. I sometimes feel like a wimp for being exhausted by my job at such a young age (my husband and friends have taught for over 30 years compared to my 20), but then I remind myself we're all on our own timeline and it's good to know when to move on.
I think we all get tired out by different things... and I've also noticed myself changing over time - not in 'good' or 'bad' ways, just ways! Here's to you enjoying as much of your 4 years left as you can! (and me too!)
Very true, Satya. I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago. Why would I feel the same about my job or anything else?
I’d be interested in your essays having left higher education a couple of years ago and gone through that identity transition, glad I left but know in some ways it would have been easier to have kept that institutional identity. It has been hard on the other side and I have little in common now with those who remain there. Also interested in that idea of publishing angst! I really enjoy writing but almost have a panic attack when I publish it...
Yes, I think that's a big part of what I'm interested in. I've been a college professor or a graduate student for a long time now. I don't think of it as a big part of my identity, but of course, it is. And I've already built an alternative identity as a writer. But what will it feel like to let go of a part of myself?
Yes, I spent some time this morning fretting over whether this post was something I should actually put out into the world. But (so far) I've never regretted putting my writing out into the world, in any way, shape or form. I try to remind myself of that when the panic comes.
“I have no idea if anyone would be interested in reading such a thing. I find I don’t really care. This feels like progress.” It is progress! Go, you ❤️ Personally, I think the first person you should write for is you, otherwise, what’s the point? That said, I’d be interested in reading your college essays. Many years ago I toyed with teaching, preferably at a college or community college. It wasn’t meant to be but I still spent a lot of time in academia.
Thanks, Marie. It appears quite a few people would be interested, so, charging full speed ahead! Academia is a weird world, but maybe more relatable than I thought. We've all been in situations we wanted to escape, I guess.
I'm in a similar liminal place right now. I've decided to go on disability beginning in Jan, which feels like I'm retiring. I'm 2 years shy of 15 years at BSU, which would lock in my retirement benefits. Normally, I'd just push through and get r done, but my pushing through days seem to be over. Long Covid is really kicking my ass. I will definitely read what you have to say!
That sucks, Cathy. To be so close and still not be able to get there. And to give up a job that I know has been rewarding and fulfilling not because you're choosing to, but because you have to. So sorry.