Thank you - I really needed to read this today! (And every day!) 😉 When I get aware of, and then eventually consumed with, the idea of the audience -- it really messes up my flow… Or if I am done writing and have posted it, then see that nobody has even read it or liked it...I start to feel like “why did I do it?” And I forget -- “I’m doing it for myself!” It’s the journey not the destination, damn it! It’s a hard road.
Just reading this post put me into a contemplative state. The rhythm of your words reminding me of the rhythm of knitting. I no longer knit as it came to have to opposite effect on me for some reason, but I remember the joy of it from before. We have to remember that writing for ourselves is perfectly fine, and often necessary. You are reminding me to do so.
I relate to this so much - with both the knitting (or crocheting) and the writing. I’m with my daughter on a school trip today and brought a dishcloth to work on. I like them because it’s repetitive and quick to finish, but I was literally just reflecting on how I’m glad that I missed the “knitting moment” a few years ago because people were doing much more detailed and beautifully finished projects than I would ever attempt and the internal comparison would have discouraged me. I just picked it up on my own and realized how calming it was for me to work on simple projects. After I had that thought I picked up my phone instead of my crochet and read your piece! But so good to reframe my writing this way because I rarely even try that with the comparison of better and more experienced and younger writers out there. I’m always writing in my head. Thank you for the reminder to put it down for the process instead of the product.
Yes, I love the mostly mindless knitting. I have a friend who is very into fiddly, complicated projects. Almost like knitting as torture. I have zero interest. I tried a lace pattern last year and that was too much. And, yes, when I have a satisfying knitting project going, I look at my phone much less often. Thanks for reading and commenting!
This makes such good sense. It is so freeing. I found myself thinking of that advice Kurt Vonnegut is famous for -- writing for one person and not the world. He would imagine his sister reading his work and try to make her laugh. This is another way and could/should lead to some fun and creative outcomes no matter who they "fit."
I've been thinking about this a lot as a way to reboot my writing. What if I wrote to specific people? Family members? Friends? I think it's such a lovely and loving approach.
I remember being puzzled when fellow graduate students complained about having to lead class discussions as teaching assistants and how they couldn't wait to have their "own classes." Wasn't their goal to teach? Shouldn't they be figuring how to feel good about this part of the journey? Then I was puzzled when friends became assistant professors, and all they talked about was getting tenure. Not that I didn't understand the frustrations of not controlling the curriculum in a class where I was just a Teaching Assistant, or wishing to remove the tension over whether I would get tenure, but weren't they getting to do the job they had trained to do! How few people get to do a job they have chosen, rather than what was necessary. My "journey" to my eventual teaching job wasn't straight forward, I even left a tenure track job, and I didn't end up teaching in the 4 year liberal arts college or the research institution I thought I wanted. but I got to teach college students! And how wonderful was that? Same with writing. Thank goodness that the 20 years of having my historical mystery rejected was made easier to bear because the main journey I was on was teaching history. And I have such gratitude for the fact that when that career was ending, self-publishing was just opening up. That meant I could take that route for my next journey., because it was the writing, not the approval of editors, or awards I wanted. Without the barriers of traditional publishing, and with less than $500 I was able to put what I wrote up so it was visible, and people could read it, and enough people said they enjoyed it that this motivated me to write the next book, and the next book. I am now in the middle of a 13 year journey that had brought me joy. And even if not everyone likes what I write, I do, and even if more people like my mysteries than my science fiction, that's ok. Because I like to write both. And what a blessing that in my 70s I don't have to depend on the revenue to eat, so I can just keep writing, enjoying the journey! Hope you all are able to find your joy in whatever endeavor, because it really is the journey, not the destination.
Thanks for this reminder! We are always looking off into the future, anxious for the next bit to get started, instead of enjoying where we are. Have to remember that myself as I start my 21st semester as a full-time professor. What a gift it is for someone like me approaching 50 to be able to spend time in a classroom full of young people. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Really enjoyed this! I am very much a process knitter - I knit because I really love doing it and it calms my brain, not necessarily because I want the finished thing. Recently I’ve begun trying to bring this perspective into other areas of my life, just as you describe, and it’s been such a game changer. Everything I do actually turns out so much better when I focus on the doing, and not on the finished product, and I enjoy it so much more.
From one knitter to another, yes, the process is the best part, my favorite part. I want to feel that way about my writing too, but I also have a desire to share. So I finish that scarf and then send to an unsuspecting loved one, and I forget about it because I’m already working on something else. I feel that way about my writing, in particular a novel I’ve been working on for a long time. I want to finish it and then give it away like I do my knitting. Yet I’m cautioned against this. People are even shocked at the idea. But I like giving my work away. There’s joy in that.
I love the idea of giving your writing away the same way we give our knitting away. I'm thinking of the way some knitters leave scarves and gloves scattered around in the winter for anyone to take. What if we thought of our writing like that? Thanks for really getting me thinking, Marie.
We are already doing that, in a way. You share your writing here and it’s free for anyone to read and enjoy. Some of my writer friends publish their poetry online, free for anyone to discover and read. The reader only needs an internet connection 🙂 But now you’re making think of how some people put messages on stones and leave them on walking trails to be discovered. Once I thought I would print a few copies of my novel and leave them at bookstores, libraries, and then forget about them. Hope that someone would pick it up and read it, enjoy it, but I would too busy with my next project to dwell on it. I like that idea 🙂
Thank you - I really needed to read this today! (And every day!) 😉 When I get aware of, and then eventually consumed with, the idea of the audience -- it really messes up my flow… Or if I am done writing and have posted it, then see that nobody has even read it or liked it...I start to feel like “why did I do it?” And I forget -- “I’m doing it for myself!” It’s the journey not the destination, damn it! It’s a hard road.
Exactly! And it is a hard road. I have to remind myself of this over and over again.
Just reading this post put me into a contemplative state. The rhythm of your words reminding me of the rhythm of knitting. I no longer knit as it came to have to opposite effect on me for some reason, but I remember the joy of it from before. We have to remember that writing for ourselves is perfectly fine, and often necessary. You are reminding me to do so.
I relate to this so much - with both the knitting (or crocheting) and the writing. I’m with my daughter on a school trip today and brought a dishcloth to work on. I like them because it’s repetitive and quick to finish, but I was literally just reflecting on how I’m glad that I missed the “knitting moment” a few years ago because people were doing much more detailed and beautifully finished projects than I would ever attempt and the internal comparison would have discouraged me. I just picked it up on my own and realized how calming it was for me to work on simple projects. After I had that thought I picked up my phone instead of my crochet and read your piece! But so good to reframe my writing this way because I rarely even try that with the comparison of better and more experienced and younger writers out there. I’m always writing in my head. Thank you for the reminder to put it down for the process instead of the product.
Yes, I love the mostly mindless knitting. I have a friend who is very into fiddly, complicated projects. Almost like knitting as torture. I have zero interest. I tried a lace pattern last year and that was too much. And, yes, when I have a satisfying knitting project going, I look at my phone much less often. Thanks for reading and commenting!
P.S. I need to start knitting!!
It is one of the most satisfying hobbies I've picked up. I love gardening, too, but, man, the weeds do not always lead to a contemplative state.
This makes such good sense. It is so freeing. I found myself thinking of that advice Kurt Vonnegut is famous for -- writing for one person and not the world. He would imagine his sister reading his work and try to make her laugh. This is another way and could/should lead to some fun and creative outcomes no matter who they "fit."
I've been thinking about this a lot as a way to reboot my writing. What if I wrote to specific people? Family members? Friends? I think it's such a lovely and loving approach.
I remember being puzzled when fellow graduate students complained about having to lead class discussions as teaching assistants and how they couldn't wait to have their "own classes." Wasn't their goal to teach? Shouldn't they be figuring how to feel good about this part of the journey? Then I was puzzled when friends became assistant professors, and all they talked about was getting tenure. Not that I didn't understand the frustrations of not controlling the curriculum in a class where I was just a Teaching Assistant, or wishing to remove the tension over whether I would get tenure, but weren't they getting to do the job they had trained to do! How few people get to do a job they have chosen, rather than what was necessary. My "journey" to my eventual teaching job wasn't straight forward, I even left a tenure track job, and I didn't end up teaching in the 4 year liberal arts college or the research institution I thought I wanted. but I got to teach college students! And how wonderful was that? Same with writing. Thank goodness that the 20 years of having my historical mystery rejected was made easier to bear because the main journey I was on was teaching history. And I have such gratitude for the fact that when that career was ending, self-publishing was just opening up. That meant I could take that route for my next journey., because it was the writing, not the approval of editors, or awards I wanted. Without the barriers of traditional publishing, and with less than $500 I was able to put what I wrote up so it was visible, and people could read it, and enough people said they enjoyed it that this motivated me to write the next book, and the next book. I am now in the middle of a 13 year journey that had brought me joy. And even if not everyone likes what I write, I do, and even if more people like my mysteries than my science fiction, that's ok. Because I like to write both. And what a blessing that in my 70s I don't have to depend on the revenue to eat, so I can just keep writing, enjoying the journey! Hope you all are able to find your joy in whatever endeavor, because it really is the journey, not the destination.
Thanks for this reminder! We are always looking off into the future, anxious for the next bit to get started, instead of enjoying where we are. Have to remember that myself as I start my 21st semester as a full-time professor. What a gift it is for someone like me approaching 50 to be able to spend time in a classroom full of young people. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Really enjoyed this! I am very much a process knitter - I knit because I really love doing it and it calms my brain, not necessarily because I want the finished thing. Recently I’ve begun trying to bring this perspective into other areas of my life, just as you describe, and it’s been such a game changer. Everything I do actually turns out so much better when I focus on the doing, and not on the finished product, and I enjoy it so much more.
Yes, so smart to apply this approach all the time.
From one knitter to another, yes, the process is the best part, my favorite part. I want to feel that way about my writing too, but I also have a desire to share. So I finish that scarf and then send to an unsuspecting loved one, and I forget about it because I’m already working on something else. I feel that way about my writing, in particular a novel I’ve been working on for a long time. I want to finish it and then give it away like I do my knitting. Yet I’m cautioned against this. People are even shocked at the idea. But I like giving my work away. There’s joy in that.
I love the idea of giving your writing away the same way we give our knitting away. I'm thinking of the way some knitters leave scarves and gloves scattered around in the winter for anyone to take. What if we thought of our writing like that? Thanks for really getting me thinking, Marie.
We are already doing that, in a way. You share your writing here and it’s free for anyone to read and enjoy. Some of my writer friends publish their poetry online, free for anyone to discover and read. The reader only needs an internet connection 🙂 But now you’re making think of how some people put messages on stones and leave them on walking trails to be discovered. Once I thought I would print a few copies of my novel and leave them at bookstores, libraries, and then forget about them. Hope that someone would pick it up and read it, enjoy it, but I would too busy with my next project to dwell on it. I like that idea 🙂
Yes or Nishant Jain at @The SneakyArt Post who leaves little sketches that he does for people to find. I love that idea.
Um… I’ve never been given a knit sweater before?
I don't think you realize what you're getting into here. I mean, you would have to wear such a sweater.
I accept this requisite.