This week I wrote about endemic being a state of mind (as well as sports joy and sorrow). Along those lines, I thought I’d share the two most useful things I’ve done during the pandemic.
First, I muted all the people on social media who were broadcasting their anxiety. I didn’t un-friend them or unfollow them. I’m not mad at them. I hope someday to un-mute them. I have great compassion for them. I totally understand how one of our natural responses to experiencing anxiety is to, well, spew it out into the universe. Why not? It sucks feeling both anxious and alone. I get it.
I also know that anxiety is the most contagious emotion. This makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint (if you’re into evolutionary explanations, which I am only when they also happen to reinforce what I already believe). Picture early humans like a bunch of meerkats (probably less cute, though), standing on our hind legs, looking out for signs of danger. If one of us spotted something scary, it would be in our best interests for that fear and anxiety to spread through the group quickly. Anxiety is, after all, a form of that flight-fight-freeze response.
It me.
In year two (or is it three?) of the pandemic, we are like Pavlov’s dog in our anxiety responses. You see that map with the red and now the blood-red-so-dark-it’s-almost-black on your state or county and you are like that meerkat—freaked the fuck out. Or the spikes in the graphs of cases? Yeah, I am well-acquainted with that rush of adrenaline and the urge to dig a little meerkat burrow (do meerkats have burrows?) in my living room floor and HIDE!
It is totally understandable to deal with that anxiety by getting on Instagram or Twitter or TikTok and yelling it out at people (after or while you’re hiding, I guess?). It’s a leftover survival tactic, our inner meerkat, you might say. But we’re not meerkats and this is not a lion (do lions eat meerkats?) and so being inundated day after day with one wave of anxiety after the other is not helpful. It’s the opposite of helpful. It’s bad. So while I feel great compassion for people’s anxiety, I can also draw my own boundary to keep their anxiety from spreading into my present moment.
The second thing I did was to subscribe to David Leonhardt’s newsletter (with occasional guests) from The New York Times, The Morning. Here’s a person who will admit to the journalistic bias toward bad news and the way that even when journalists report good news, they feel compelled to caveat the hell out of it in a way they do not do with bad news. Good news isn’t interesting without some bad news thrown in, I guess.
Of course, we all know bad news sells better than good news. But the other thing that happens when we’re anxious? The rational, reasoning parts of our brain short-circuit. We lose the ability to think in anything but very stark, black and white, simplistic ways. Lion = bad. Burrow = good.
I like Leonhardt’s newsletter because it is the opposite of that black and white thinking. God forbid, sometimes he writes about the things we do not know about covid and can only guess at. Why do waves seem to hit in two-month cycles? What is that about? No one really knows. The newsletter is a measured, thoughtful, well-researched approach to the news from someone is also trying to avoid the urge to scare the shit out of you.
What things have you done during the pandemic that you’ve found most helpful?
I remember that song, but I don't know if I've ever paid attention to the lyrics. I will now, though! Yes, books are not scary. Or only scary in a good way.
MEERKATS!
MEERKATS!
YES!! MEERKATS is exactly right, we are like Meerkats!!!
I love this Robyn. So clever of you!
Thanks, Ann!
I read more books in the past year than I had in a long time. Escapism at its best!
Re: news - do you remember Don Henley's song "Dirty Laundry"? He expressed it perfectly. Just remember: If it bleeds, it leads!
I remember that song, but I don't know if I've ever paid attention to the lyrics. I will now, though! Yes, books are not scary. Or only scary in a good way.
I think I've been sharing anxiety through posts. Thanks for making the point.