The paid button won't appear until I turn on paid subscriptions in two weeks. The cost will be $5 a month for a monthly subscription. For a yearly subscription, $40. Thanks for asking!
You've captured something I think about often. I'm also aware of how well the body can work to protect. When I find myself slipping into depression , I can feel the fight in my body. The urge to move , to take a long walk, to feel my body working is so strong. I believe it is because the body knows what to do when my spirit can't.
That is so beautiful, Elizabeth--"the body knows what to do when my spirit can't." But I feel the same thing--the resistance of my mind or spirit or whatever to just walking out the door and moving, which cures so much of what ails me. Thanks for the lovely comment.
Amen! I feel this too! I get restless and just HAVE to go on a walk, especially when it’s been too long, and I feel the pull of the depression monster grasping at my heels. ♥️
Oh yes, this book; it’s been on my book wish list for a couple of years now, I need to get it! Or see if the audible version is available.
Yes I’ve been aware of the “Anniversary memories” reality for years now. For me it’s often unconscious. For instance my mom ditched the role of mother when I was three months old and my sisters basically fostered me until I was 3 1/2 years old...at which time my mom came to reclaim me...which I felt was wrong on many levels because I thought my sister I was living with was my mom, and this lady...I didn’t know WHO she was. I believe all these traumatic events happened usually in the summertime, so in certain months in the summer I have intense abandonment issues bubble up, and insecurities. Further, when my daughter was the age that I was at those times... I had some serious anxiety, because it was like my unconscious was observing my own child and remembering how it was when I was her age at those times.
Something I’ve been thinking about writing about... but it’s just so hard to dive in and really do the expository narrative thing about these deep psychological PTSD matters.
And about that - what do you think about exposing personal information for public consumption? I have long felt I wanted to write my story...
BUT I live in a very small town, and I don’t I don’t necessarily relish the idea of splaying out my deep, intimate, though interesting, personal memories for PTO members, bank tellers, and baristas to know all about. Plus I’m thinking of becoming a real estate agent and it might be bad for my public persona.
I didn't even think about anniversaries of your childhood trauma manifesting when YOUR children hit that age, but, yes, of course!
Wow, those are hard questions about how or whether to write about your own experiences with trauma. On the one hand, I think it's so helpful for people who have been through similar situations to have those stories so they feel less alone. On the other hand, I totally get the fear of exposure and anger and how people will think of you. When people talk openly about their shitty family and childhood situations, I'm always full of admiration for their bravery (and kudos to you for being open about your own traumatic childhood experiences here!).
I guess what I'd say is there are lots of ways to write through those experiences. You can write something that's for your eyes only, to help you process that trauma. Or for a slightly wider but still safer audience--trusted friends and family. You can totally stop there. Or write for a more public audience anonymously or under a pen name. Or hold onto to what you've written until you feel safe enough to share it more widely. So, it's not an either/or situation. Find the balance between being out there and private that's comfortable for you.
Thanks! Making the space for healing is so hard. I think this is something everyone struggles with. I’m trying to focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t right now.
And if I wanted to pay, where's the button telling me how to do that and the cost?
The paid button won't appear until I turn on paid subscriptions in two weeks. The cost will be $5 a month for a monthly subscription. For a yearly subscription, $40. Thanks for asking!
I had assumed my antics over the years had already qualified me for a character in a story, but I’ll subscribe anyway. 😉
Not yet. Keep working at it.
Wow. Just wow. Now I have something else to worry about. 😉
Your body is awesome, just like every other bit of you.
You've captured something I think about often. I'm also aware of how well the body can work to protect. When I find myself slipping into depression , I can feel the fight in my body. The urge to move , to take a long walk, to feel my body working is so strong. I believe it is because the body knows what to do when my spirit can't.
That is so beautiful, Elizabeth--"the body knows what to do when my spirit can't." But I feel the same thing--the resistance of my mind or spirit or whatever to just walking out the door and moving, which cures so much of what ails me. Thanks for the lovely comment.
Amen! I feel this too! I get restless and just HAVE to go on a walk, especially when it’s been too long, and I feel the pull of the depression monster grasping at my heels. ♥️
Oh yes, this book; it’s been on my book wish list for a couple of years now, I need to get it! Or see if the audible version is available.
Yes I’ve been aware of the “Anniversary memories” reality for years now. For me it’s often unconscious. For instance my mom ditched the role of mother when I was three months old and my sisters basically fostered me until I was 3 1/2 years old...at which time my mom came to reclaim me...which I felt was wrong on many levels because I thought my sister I was living with was my mom, and this lady...I didn’t know WHO she was. I believe all these traumatic events happened usually in the summertime, so in certain months in the summer I have intense abandonment issues bubble up, and insecurities. Further, when my daughter was the age that I was at those times... I had some serious anxiety, because it was like my unconscious was observing my own child and remembering how it was when I was her age at those times.
Something I’ve been thinking about writing about... but it’s just so hard to dive in and really do the expository narrative thing about these deep psychological PTSD matters.
And about that - what do you think about exposing personal information for public consumption? I have long felt I wanted to write my story...
BUT I live in a very small town, and I don’t I don’t necessarily relish the idea of splaying out my deep, intimate, though interesting, personal memories for PTO members, bank tellers, and baristas to know all about. Plus I’m thinking of becoming a real estate agent and it might be bad for my public persona.
Thoughts!? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I didn't even think about anniversaries of your childhood trauma manifesting when YOUR children hit that age, but, yes, of course!
Wow, those are hard questions about how or whether to write about your own experiences with trauma. On the one hand, I think it's so helpful for people who have been through similar situations to have those stories so they feel less alone. On the other hand, I totally get the fear of exposure and anger and how people will think of you. When people talk openly about their shitty family and childhood situations, I'm always full of admiration for their bravery (and kudos to you for being open about your own traumatic childhood experiences here!).
I guess what I'd say is there are lots of ways to write through those experiences. You can write something that's for your eyes only, to help you process that trauma. Or for a slightly wider but still safer audience--trusted friends and family. You can totally stop there. Or write for a more public audience anonymously or under a pen name. Or hold onto to what you've written until you feel safe enough to share it more widely. So, it's not an either/or situation. Find the balance between being out there and private that's comfortable for you.
Thanks for reading and sharing your experiences!
Thank you so much for taking time to respond! I really appreciate your feedback... it’ll help me decide how to move forward. 🙏🏻♥️
P.S. I am sorry about your back pain!
Thanks!
You're welcome!
Thanks for the reminder. I hope your back pain eases quickly. I’m in month four now and struggling to be patient.
Thanks! Making the space for healing is so hard. I think this is something everyone struggles with. I’m trying to focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t right now.