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For me, the easiest and best way to form community and connection has been to run a business, first the diner, and now a tiny bakery. It's so much work, and sometimes I wish I was quietly in my house or out on the water or in the woods, resting or putting together a puzzle, walking or paddling, just having solitude. But the businesses are so fulfilling for the way they get me out among people, and those connections and that sense of purpose and belonging is precious to me.

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I like how long your list is of the things you'd rather be doing. I think there's a big connection between solitude and belonging. I'm not sure if you can be a good member of a community until you know how to be alone with yourself. I don't know. One of those things I'm still very much thinking through.

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My old guy, age 92, likes to blame the dissolution of community not because of the arrival of television, smart phones, and 700 cable channels. He thinks it began when public hangings were banned. He claims people had post-hanging potlucks, brought lots of potato salad, and little kids walked through the crowd selling peanuts. Then I look into his ancient blue eyes and see a twinkle. The joke is on me. With him, the joke is always on me.

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